Joy in the Mourning
“Weeping may last through the night,
But joy comes with the morning”
Psalm 30:5
What if the morning never comes? What if the light of the morning doesn’t dawn? What if your
prayers and pleas aren’t answered how you’d desired and hoped they would be answered?
What do you do when the night doesn’t seem to end? When the weeping doesn’t seem to
cease?
What have you been praying, pleading, and believing for? How long have you been praying?
Weeks? Months? Years? Where does it still feel like the dead of night? How dark is it?
5 years. We prayed, pleaded, believed, and hoped for 5 years that the cancer would flee. We
prayed mom would live and not die, so she could meet her first grandchild that was on the way,
so she could celebrate her daughter’s wedding, so she could enjoy “growing old” and
experiencing a “more full life”.
We didn’t receive that which we hoped would happen. We experienced the “darkest” of the night
on February 27th when mom breathed her last, leaving her worn body still and lifeless in a
hospital bed.
Days continue to pass as the sun sets and rises again, but there is a darkness that lingers in our
hearts and minds. It isn’t supposed to be this way.
“To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.”
Psalm 139:12
“Even in the dark, there is light. God remains the same in both dark and light.”
I wrote these words next to Psalm 139:12 in my Bible. I continue to cling to them as we continue
to walk in the lingerings of darkness.
During mom’s battle with cancer, I often found myself in my car singing at the top of my lungs
through tears and pleas for the restoration of mom’s health. One song that was on repeat was
“Joy in the Morning” by Elevation Worship and Tauren Wells. I’d sing the lyric “there will be joy in
the morning” with great gusto as I’d simultaneously be asking God to heal my mom.
It has been difficult to hear this song played now. I’ve wrestled with God, asking why He didn’t
bring the morning or the joy. Why does it seem like He ignored our prayers? Why did we see
other people becoming healed and restored, but not mom? God, why? I know You are more
than able to heal and restore, so why didn’t You, on this side of Heaven, like we hoped?
I recently listened to this song again. As I heard the repeated lyric “there will be joy in the
morning” I had a new thought…what if there could be “joy in the mourning”? What if the morning
already did come? What if the light already dawned and is still dawning? What if we could still
experience joy even when it seems so dark? What if rays of light, of God’s goodness, presence,
and grace are still breaking through?
My niece, Riley Dawn, was born exactly 7 months to the minute of mom’s passing. In Scripture,
the number 7 represents many things including perfection, completion, fulfillment, and in the
context of divine intervention and restoration. Riley is a perfect and precious gift from God. A ray
of light in the midst of deep sorrow and loss. She was named after my mom and grandpa, who
also left us due to cancer a year before mom’s passing.
Riley’s birth reminded me of the restoration work of God, that He is still with us, still worthy to be
praised, still good and doing good.
Is it possible to simultaneously mourn and experience joy? Not only is it possible, but fitting, to
simultaneously mourn and be filled with joy as we still live in a world where death casts it’s
shadow. If there is a shadow, doesn’t that also imply that there must be light? What if the
mourning increases the depth to which the joy is felt and understood?
“The people living in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.”
Matthew 4:16 NIV
These words in Matthew still remain true. The light has dawned—Jesus Christ, “Light of the
world”, given to us.
As we reflect on The Truth of Christmas and declare “Joy to the world!” this Christmas season,
let us remember The Joy that has come and The Light that has dawned and continues to dawn.
Let us simultaneously mourn in the shadows as they remind us of The Light that is still shining.
Let us be filled again with joy by the hope we have been given in Christ—our King, Savior, and
Redeemer.
As we remember Immanuel— “God with us”— may we also remember “God with us” in the
mourning and “God with us” in the joy. May we cling to Him and find rest in His presence.
I’ve found that mourning and joy aren’t in tension. They are intertwined responses that tether me
back to the truth and hope of Jesus.
My fiancé has a tattoo on his arm of a quote penned by George MacDonald. Part of it reads:
“Joy cannot unfold the deepest truths, although deepest truth must be deepest joy.” As we
remember and praise The Truth, may we rediscover and experience the deepest joy that The
deepest Truth brings. The light is still dawning. All praise to Jesus Christ our King!
Merry Christmas!
With deepest joy,
Erin