rejected not forsaken

“No.” N-O. A two letter word that holds the capacity to weigh down your soul, crush your courage, and fill you with deafening lies and doubts. Rejection. Closed doors. Road blocks. 

I had almost become expectant in receiving a “no” from every place I applied to on my search to find a job after graduating college. Though never directly stated, but implied through formalities, rejection echoed through me, gripping my heart with defeat. Lies of “not being good enough” or “not qualified enough” crept into my mind and began to affect my posture and perspective as I questioned my purpose and ultimately my identity. I had just gained four incredible years of knowledge, growth, and experience. High hopes were on the horizon for the future. I never expected or imagined the pain and frustration of endless rejections. The worst rejection is silence. Spending hours searching for a job, filling out an application and never receiving a response. Feelings of anger muffle the voice that is calling you to something greater than a 9 to 5. Complaining blurs the vision beckoning to be awakened in stillness, never seen in striving. The assumption of receiving a “no” and these lies of being unqualified and lacking experience crushed what little confidence and courage I had in “putting myself out there” and “stepping into the unknown”. 

Eventually becoming so weary in the journey and lacking faith through the wait, I halted my search. I stopped seeking approval and validation in the cultural standards of success and acceptance. I turned to the One who claimed my identity and inspired my purpose. The One who is the assurance of my hope and anchor for my joy. He began to steady my anxious mind as I opened His Word and waited for His guidance for the next step. But even greater I rediscovered my identity, surrendering every lie, doubt, and fear, as God tethered my heart, mind, and soul back to Him. A realignment to faith and trust and an adjustment of perspective followed. 

“God will open a door in His perfect timing” is a popular saying among followers of Jesus. I’ve personally used this saying to encourage others and myself. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with this saying, but it portrays an odd image in my mind. I imagine standing in an infinite hallway knocking on countless doors hoping and waiting for one to be opened. What if there is only one door that truly matters? This door isn’t one you have to keep knocking on because it has already been opened wide and it will never be shut by the One who opened it. 

I was driving home one day and the song “Won’t Stop Now” by Elevation Worship came on. A song I’ve heard many times and can sing every word to. A line in the lyrics stood out to me that I’d never really taken the time to uncover the meaning behind it before. The line is “Your presence is an open door, we want you Lord like never before”. The Holy Spirit gave a great revelation through these words. God opened wide the “door” to His presence when He sent Jesus to reconcile us back to His presence through His sacrifice in death and victory in his resurrection. God made His presence available everywhere and to every wandering soul. We have a choice to humbly enter this door to His presence. It begins with knowing His heart that has always been to be with us. This leads to a humble reverence for what He has done to be with us again, followed by a repentance of what we did to close the door to His presence. We receive His grace and forgiveness and are emboldened by the Holy Spirit to step into His presence with confident assurance. I believe stepping into an awareness of His presence begins by being still in quietness, reading His Word and praying to experience more of Him. As you soak in His character and rest in His promises He begins to lay bare opportunities to step into that He’s already placed in front of you and given you everything you need to carry them out. He is all you need. He doesn’t require that you have enough experience or qualifications. He simply calls you to obedience in what He’s placed in you and in front of you. 

What if we are the ones who close the door to God’s presence and more of Him by choosing to walk through the hallway of distractions, trying to knock on every door of opportunity without first consulting the One who has given us the ultimate opportunity— to go deeper in Him. Every other door opened is accessed through the door of His presence. These opportunities flow out of His grace. 

What if God is the one who is knocking on the door to your heart. Revelation 3:20 says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” God wants to be with you more than He wants you to accomplish great things for Him. He’s calling out to you. Do you hear His knock? Will you open the door and let Him in? When you do, you get to walk straight into His presence through the door He already opened for you. 

I realized that no matter how many “no’s” I continued to receive they would never silence the resounding “Yes” that God constantly whispers through the open door to His presence. Rejection comes with the territory of living on this side of heaven, but God’s presence with us is always sure and steady now and forever. 

Choose Him before everything else. Choose to be still in the quietness and sweetness of His presence, no matter how many doors of distractions strive to receive your knock. Choose to open the door to your heart. Let God in. You will never regret it. 

I want more of God more than anything else. What about you?

“And those who know your name put their trust in you,

for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

Psalm 9:10