voyage
Undercurrents
Ebbing, flowing
Back and forth
Left and right
Up and down
Blows like crashing waves
Breaths bartering for breakthrough
Sinking, swallowing water
Salt in a fresh wound
Treading tough trials
Troubled in the tossing
Determined to dive deeper
Despite darkening depths
Allocated in the abyss
Adonai anchoring in affirmations
Identifying voices
Vastly vital in verifying victory
Validating original realities
Vows made before I was formed
Voyage undertaken
Avast to the promises
Swimming in vast victories
The delivery methods God uses in answering prayers often carry more intention and depth than what we carried into the moment of uttering the prayer in the first place. Sometimes in order to receive the answer to your prayer, you have to be willing to embrace the process of the proceeding unfolding of the delivery. This process usually involves a call to a deeper trusting and abiding in the One who has the power and authority to answer your prayer. Prayers propel us into the power of God as we connect to the all-powerful One. Prayer can also be preparation in paving the way deeper into the promises of God as well as a source of perseverance in the process of receiving those promises.
My prayer for this year was to abide more fully in peace. To have a posture of peace—approaching circumstances with peace and responding with peace—and to grow into a greater presence of peace within my own mind, body, and soul. I’ve grown weary from operating out of fear, fret, and fickle feelings from fighting circumstances and experiences that ushered in great anxiety and stress. I want to live out of the promise of God’s peace that surpasses my desire to want to understand why these things happened.
I’m realizing that when God begins to answer a prayer, He has often already given the answer, but will give you many opportunities to walk out the delivery. The deliverance is often met with a delivery of the very things you want to be delivered from. This has been my experience with fear and anxiety over the past few months.
In short, a few experiences over the past few months have oriented me face to face with my deepest fears, but have also created the greatest opportunity for healing, deliverance, and freedom that I’ve ever encountered.
These experiences included a car accident on the rough mountain road I’ve lived on for over a year now that has been a major source of stress for me, a threatening encounter with a man on camp who was not in his right mind, and watching my mom spend ten days in the hospital battling covid on top of cancer.
The peaks of terror, anxiety, fear, worry, and stress that I’ve experienced through these events have been heightened to levels I’ve never encountered before and have affected my physical and mental well-being drastically. Feeling physically ill from thoughts running rampant in utter darkness have resulted in many restless nights and anxiety attacks. Simply breathing became a battle.
Healing has been happening in the stripping of the false fortifications where I had been seeking safety, security, comfort, and peace. There has been a greater awakening to the call to abide fully and fervently in the complete character and essence of God as my peace.
A friend reminded me recently that God’s abiding in us is guaranteed, but our abiding in Him is not guaranteed. The call to abide beckons a response of a choice to abide in return. The power and authority that defeated all fear and anxiety abides in you if you have accepted and confessed Christ as your Savior. You have readily available access to that power, but you have to make a conscious choice to activate that power through the Holy Spirit working in you.
Abiding for me has felt like diving deeper into the depths of Who God is. I know and believe He is my peace, but experiencing Him as my peace has involved choosing to activate His peace through the wrestles of anxiety attacks and being face to face with fears that have been festering inside me since I was a young girl.
Life with Jesus is a voyage. It’s letting Him set your sails to be guided by His Spirit closer to His heart and all He is. Sometimes He asks you to dive out into the waves and let Him be your anchor. At times you may feel unsteady, like you are drowning, being pushed down as the waves of life’s circumstances continue to crash over you, but that’s when you have the opportunity to dive deeper into the truths and promises of Jesus.
I want to keep diving into the deeper depths that God calls us into. Being saturated in His presence and propelled with His power. The depths may include greater encounters with darkness and uncertainty, but I know the One who will continue to be my anchor, light, and captain.
“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace.
Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace.
Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous!”
John 14:27 (TPT)